Just on hold a bit ...

stupid asthma

I'm getting help. In the meantime I'm walking. And doing a little weights.

But while I'm waiting I'm starting a new blog. About what we eat. And why. And our journey to healthy healing foods

check it out

to--your--health.blogspot.com

I can ... I will..

I know I can do this.

I took the mantra from our motivational speaker the other night.

And I did.

I ran 5k.

It was slow. I was last. But I ran it.

I just want to cry!

Our speaker this week was Chris Clayton. I heard him speak two years ago. And he got me right where I needed him to back then.

Today, somehow, he did the same.

I've been thinking over the last few days of how I doubt myself. Of how little faith I have in my body and it's ability to achieve.

I know where it comes from. Years and years of being unhappy with my weight, of being the kid who would umpire the softball game so she didn't let her team down by playing.

Then the last four years. Infertility strikes back. Four years. Seven ivfs. No children surviving my womb. More children to hold in heaven than I could ever have on earth.

My belief in my body is pretty much zero.

And I need to change that.

Before I can try again. Before I can do another transfer I need to get my mind and body strong. I need to believe in my body again.

And not only for those reasons. Just because I want to live in this body for the next 60+ years. And I don't want to do that in self doubt.

I need to change. This challenge is helping me. But to truly do that - I need to believe in me.


"Change your thoughts and you change your world" Norman Vincent Peale.

I need to stop thinking "I can't" or "I'm the slow one at the back" and change my thoughts ... and my world.

"I can" "I will" " I know I can do this"

"I won't stop" "I will taste success" "I know I can do this."

There is no finish line.



One thought struck me tonight. I need to blow it up and put it on the mirror.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new beginning" Carl Bard

My assessment ... and a catch up

I did not want to do my assessment.

For the 10 days before my assessment date I was struggling. I wasn't eating to plan. And we went away.

And you know what - I have a bit of an all or nothing nature. either I am trying to be perfect. Or I sabatage. And for a few days I was right there.

This is where my friends rock. If your friend is picking you up you HAVE to run. No choice.

And if you turn up ... somehow it seems you always work harder than you intended.

But yep - I was struggling. Cause I wanted to lose like FOUR kgs in the first month. And I knew I wouldn't. And I knew it was partly my fault.

So I went.

And lost 1.8kg. And yes - I am disappointed in that. And in me. But I think for the first time ever I am acknowledging that it was my choices that got me there. And my choices will change that.

And 1.8kg is still a loss.

So that is my assessment. 1.8kg down. 21 cm. And an attitude adjustment.

Oh - and Leanne says I doubt myself. That I don't believe I can do this. And she is so right. I need to work on that. Anyone know how though????

Suitably sore

This weights program is tough. Well I think it is. To do the whole thing in one go takes about 70-90 min (guess that depends how much you socialise too!)

I know I don't have time tomorrow. And today I do. So I did both (despite my initial intentions of just doing the upper body)

I am sore. Suitably sore. I worked H.A.R.D. and I can feel it!

Today's run ...

was awesome!

OK - I am still no where near a runner.

BUT

I was expecting it to be hard due to how sore I was feeling.

BUT

I remembered Leanne's words from my assessment last week (oops ! Still need to blog about that) and that I need to BELIEVE in MYSELF more.

So I went determined. I would have to go at my pace (can't ask miracles) but I would do what I was asked to do. And I did. I ran every bit we were asked to run. I did not walk unless we were told to walk. And I ran.

I am so proud of today's run. I feel like I went that little bit harder, and did not give in to those ugly thoughts.

When it got tough my mantra became "how sweet is success going to feel" over and over and over again.

And you know what?

It was.

Running for a cure.

Um - yeah. 5k fun run today. And me. Should be interesting.

But on that note - I have a TWELVE WEEK CHALLENGE SHIRT TO WEAR!

I am so stupidly excited. I have a shirt that is fitness related! ME! Guess it can compete with the millions that Paul owns.!

For the record ...

Leanna has hit a new level of insanity on the weights program.

It took Liz and I two hours to do it today.

(Although there might have been some talking there????)

I'm here ...!!!

To those who have asked ... I'm struggling a bit but I'm still here!

I've been away - at the Gympie Muster. Not exactly challenge friendly but I did my best.

I have lots to post about - mainly about my wierd self and how I cope with things.

But I wanted to say I AM HERE!

And I ran today. It was hard - but I did it!! I'm still swimming.

ch-ch-ch-changes!

Even after 2 weeks I am feeling CHANGES!
Here are a few ...

SLEEP - I am sleeping SO well at night. Insomnia has disappeared. I just crash at night.
MY SKIN - is so much clearer and it feels firmer too - less saggy ;)
MY WAIST is making a comeback
MY STOMACH is definately flatter. I've lost a lot of that "pregnant but not pregnant" look
I DON'T PUFF going up the stairs to the gym anymore.
THE RUNS seem a little easier at least. Just a bit. Pity she keeps making them harder or I might catch up one day.
MY THIGHS feel less jiggly. Seriously. That's the word for it.

And this is just two weeks in. Ten to go.

For the record ...

pulsing squats are cruel.

Just in case I forget this pain one day.

The end.

This week's workout plan - week THREE!

Halfway to our first assessment! ARRGGH!

Wednesday
AM - River Run
PM - Cardio - crazy boxer

Thursday
Day - Weights - crazy boxer
At home - treadmill 15m
PM - Cardio - crazy boxer

Friday
AM - Crazy boxer


Saturday
AM - Group activity. Circuit
Day - Weights - crazy boxer. Cardio (maybe)

Sunday
REST

Monday
AM - river Run
Day - weights (crazy boxer) and cardio (crazy boxer)

Tuesday
(TAFE recommences)
PM - cardio - crazy boxer

Week Two - summary

River Runs: two
Cardio (mellow yellow) -two
Cardio (crazy boxer) - one
Cardio (no program - treadmill etc) - three
Weights (mellow yellow) - three
Group activities - one - AQUA

Aerobics classes. Still none. This week. Maybe.

I wish I could bottle that feeling!

I won't lie.

The run was tough today. This running thing does not come easy for me. Every step I have to work at.

I felt I did ok today.

But the feeling I had when I finished ... and the JOY I felt all morning - that feeling of being TRULY ALIVE!

Can we bottle that???

Smiling from ear to ear.

Last time I did the challenge I was over the moon when I ran 30 min straight. At the 8th week.

Wednesday marks the end of week two for me.

And Today I Ran Thirty Minutes Straight. (on the treadmill - but still ...)

Right now I could take on the world.

What sort of person?

Runs UP the hills and walks on the FLAT parts??????

Insane!

Then I'm pretty sure she forgot the walk part.

And SPRINTING up Rodeo Dr?? (it's another HILL by the way!)

Today was tough. But in some ways it felt easier. Stronger. Wierd.

Stupid calf muscle is still giving me grief tho.

I feel like the little engine that could.

A new perspective on fast food ...

Paul and I were both tired last night. Neither of us wanted to cook. So we thought about picking up dinner.

Five minutes to think of something gluten free (for Paul) and challenge friendly for me. Fish and salad. So he goes to head down. "But what if they don't have salad"?

So I say "Just call me and I'll make some"

Then we both stop and think. And throw the chicken on the grill and make the salad anyway. Our food was faster and less effort than dinner was turning out to be.

Who says challenge food is boring???

Last night's dinner ... salmon steaks - grilled with the skin on (more omega's that way!), with a loaded plate of steamed vegetables.

Today's breakfast ... eggs, baked beans, lean ham grilled and coffee. See- I can still have my big Sunday Breakfast!

This week's challenge - to go to our health food store and see if I can order nitrate free ham and bacon there. And to buy some locally made tofu. It is SO much better than what you can buy in the supermarket!

What made me think aqua would be easy???

Especially when Leanne runs it!

Swimming, an aqua class, squats, jumps, lunges, running in the river - both with and against the current. It was a long hard hour.

But FUN!

I reckon it was the best hour I've spent in the challenge yet!

It's been a full on day - but I reckon I've done good! And earnt my rest day tomorrow!

Rest was an awesome idea!

Listening to my body and taking last night off was an AWESOME idea!

I hit the gym today - and although it took me a bit to get started I worked so HARD!
Did my weights. Went up in some. Completed full sets in others I had been struggling in.

Then cardio. Mellow yellow (which by the way is 5min step, 8min spin bike, 2 min run on step, 8min spin bike, 2 min jump rope, 8 min treadmill (2m no incline - 2m incline 3 - repeat to make 8m) 2 min jump rope, 5 min step to cool down).

I. worked. hard.

Sweat was pouring off my face. And on the treadmill I ran the whole time at 7.0. I didn't want to. With 45 sec to go I pushed through it. But I got there.

I am so glad I went. I feel exhausted. But I feel like I gave it everything I could.

And then some.

Now to rest - till aqua activities later today ...

In the midst of all these down posts ...

I did good today!

I chose to avoid the beer at work ... and the cheese ... and the wine ...

Which means I have eaten on program EVERY DAY of the challenge so far!

Kath is ...

listening to her body and taking Friday night off the gym. I'm tired.

A night in with my hubby is in order I thinK!

Including today ...

there are 75 days to go.

Maybe I can kick it up a notch???

Just one more workout today???

Still feeling it ...

Went to the gym this morning.

Took it pretty easy. Just treadmill and bike for 30 min.

I'm tired. And sore. My butt is really sore. (stupid spin bikes)

I expected to feel this way ... just not yet!!! It's only week two!

Can you pray for renewed energy for me .... and relief from PAIN!

Tired and heavy.

Tonight's cardio was tough.

I hated the steps. Hated the bikes. Pretty much was over it all.

Felt tired and heavy and ugh.

Earlyy to bed tonight I think ...

Week one summary ..

River Runs - two
Cardio (mellow yellow) - two
Cardio (no program - treadmill etc) - two
Weights - three
Group activities (bootcamp!) - One!

aerobics classes ... still too chicken

number of days on eating plan ... SEVEN!!!!

OW ow ow OW ow ow OW

Weights this morning.

Dave was there.

That man knows how to push me.

I'm going to H.U.R.T. tomorrow ...

Success!

Last night I went and just did some cardio.

Actually intended to do nothing - but thought I would go do a little ...

Well - I am so proud of me.
I jumped on the treadmill - warmed up - then started running slowly. I thought I would run for 5 min ...

I RAN FOR TWENTY MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A week ago I could run 2 min straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then after a few minutes walking I upped the pace and ran ANOTHER TEN MINUTES!!! AND FASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30 min all up!!

I'm PROUD of me!!

Belated ... but this weeks workout plan ...

Wednesday.
6am - river run
evening - cardio (treadmill etc) (Both DONE!)

Thursday
During day - weights. (DONE)
Evening - cardio program - mellow yellow

Friday

Morning - cardio (treadmill etc)
Evening - cardio program

Saturday
Morning - weights then cardio program
Afternoon - group activity - water activities

Sunday
REST ( and thank God for that!!)

Monday
AM - river run.
PM - cardio (treadmill etc)

Tuesday
During day - weights
Evening - cardio program

Tired just thinking of it ...

Shrinkage.

I haven't weighed or measured. Still 3 weeks till my next assessment.

But there must be some shrinkage going on!

My jeans that barely fit need a belt!

Yipppee!

Pity I don't own one ....

One week gone.

Eleven to go.

Did I make the most of it?

My food was excellent. I really think it was.

I tracked everything.

I went hard on the runs.

I did my weights and cardio.



But only eleven weeks to go.
77 days.

This week I am going to make my cardio count more.

And up all my weights.

77 days to go.

About broken whistles. And steps.

I think it was broken. Leanne's "walk" whistle that is.

River Run at 6 today. I think we RAN 90% and walked 10%. Maybe 10.
(and when I say run I mean shuffled slowly for me - but I'm ok with that!)

And steps. Oh the steps. How she finds these things I don't know. Leanne found us a railway overpass. Up two sets of stairs. Run across the bridge. Down the steps. Run to the fence. Turn around. Repeat. A lot.

I am sore.

And I am proud of myself too. Couldn't have done this a week ago.

Oh - and I stink. Time for a shower.

Next step for today - farmer's markets. We need food. And lots of it. Oh - and to decide if I will work out this afternoon or not.

Smiling because ...

I ran all 8 min straight of my treadmill portion of my cardio program.

4 with incline, 4 without.

Happy :)

I need to get my sweet self ...

off the computer and to the gym.

UGH.

SO don't want to!

Good thing I made a date with Liz to be there!

Trying to find more hours in a day ...

I feel like I need to do more.

I know what I am doing is fine. But this is a short term challenge for maximum change.

I want to do more.

The problem is ... finding enough hours in a day ...

Solution #1 was to take Miss E with me and go during the day. Good in theory - not quite in practise ... she wanted "mum" a LOT. (our gym has no childcare. But a large fenced off area so your children can play while you work out - but you need to keep an eye on them)

Didn't work as well as I wanted ... but at least I got my weights done today.

Solution #2 was to put her dvd on the portable and walk on the treadmill while she watched it. Worked better. I could exercise at home. And I got 30 min in.

Solution #3 will be tested tonight. Taking Miss E, and my friend's daughter to the gym so they can play together while we work out. Fingers crossed this one works.

In the meantime ... I need ideas for things Miss E will LOVE to do at the gym so I can go during the day ...

Monday Meeting Speaker this week ...

was my darling husband Paul :)

I hope everyone found him interesting. I did. It amazes me just how much that man knows about food!

Interesting fact #1 I learnt last night ... drinking diet softdrinks is an obesity factor ... they aren't sure why ... maybe it is that your tastebuds don't adjust away from sweet things ... but it is.

Bummer. I like my diet coke.

Well ... I still am last ...

but at least I'm not as badly last as last time!!!

Run again today. It felt somewhat easier. Really it did. I was doing ok. Way at the back - but ok.

And the second time up the hill was good.

Another day of clean eating. I honestly think I am completely on track so far ...

Time to step it up a notch tomorrow on the exercise tho ... less than 80 days to go ...

Loves me a lazy Sunday!

Today is a good day.

Thanks to a lot of stretching and a radox bath last night I awoke with no aches or pains. (YAY!)

A lazy breakfast ... going out for coffee ... and a walk in the park.

And it's only lunch time. Loves me a lazy Sunday! And loves me a rest day off the challenge!

I bought socks. Excuse defeated.

I bought socks. 6 pairs. All the same to limit sorting :)

Guess that excuse is gone now .....

I. Can't. Sit. Down.

Apparently bootcamp wasn't enough punishment.

The gym was open later today due to assessments being done. SO I went and did my weights. Of course by the time I finished I still had time to spare ... so jumped into cardio - not quite knowing what I was doing. My behind hurts. Squats, stepping and the spin bike did some damage.

I can't sit down.

Before pics are taken.

I ain't showing ANYONE!

But at least they are done. Bring on the changes!

This cannot be normal. No way.

6am.

Cold. Frosty. Down by the river.

My question is - in whose insane reality was doing bootcamp a good idea????

It was hard in some ways - in other ways not as hard as I remember.
The hill runs killed me. (and my calf muscle really started protesting)

And doing pushups on the grass that was still covered in frost.

I did ok the first 3/4. The end I really died.

And David (instructor) - really seemed to enjoy this. Sadist. What a welcome back. To torture us and enjoy it!

That first coffee of the morning was good tho!

I need more socks.

If I'm to do the challenge I need more socks.

That's all.

The end.

(Frustrated Kath - wearing two odd socks. Again.

Today

Today was a good day. I ate well. I loved my food! I wasn't hungry.

Liz picked me up at 6 (oh my!) for the gym. We couldn't do our set cardio program as all the spin bikes were being used ... but we DID get 40 min cardio in ...

I feel like I should be working harder. And I want to. But it is just the beginning. Bootcamp tomorrow. Then next week I'm going to ATTACK this thing!

To weigh or not to weigh???

I need to make a decision. To weigh or not to weigh??

I love to jump on my scales when I am losing weight. See how I am going. A big loss makes me feel great. But a bad day ... not so great. And this can be bad for my eating.

One thing I love about the challenge is we have a reassessment every 4 weeks. That's not to far away is it.

I'm strongly considering getting Paul to hide the scales. And having to work hard having no idea how I am going. That way I can't rest on my laurels. But it's a hard dependacy to break.

To weigh or not to weigh ... that is the question ...

Weights - take 2.

I went back. With a friend. (thanks Liz!!)

And it made my day. My fave instructor at the gym (and a gorgeous, inspirational person ... and midwife to boot!) was there! I can relax with Linda. Last time I did the challenge she made a point of encouraging me (and telling Paul how great I was doing) - she made the world of difference.

So Linda, Liz and I went through the weights program. I now know what I am doing. I hurt. And two years on - I still hate the abs exercises.

What a difference a day makes!

You know that moment ...

when you first take a mouthful and realise Just. How. Good. something tastes????

Jalna tubset yogurt. Oh. My.

No words.

On top of fresh fruit salad.

How good am I???

(Guess what!!!)

I'm not HUNGRY!!! Yippee!

Loving this way of eating! Of course - it is only day TWO!

Next trick will be to tackle my coffee addiction ... but not quite yet ...

OK - in the interest of total honesty.... I freaked out.

Went to the gym on my own last night. Thought I would walk in and do weights.

Got there - realised I had no idea what I was doing. No other women in the gym at that time.

Turned around. Picked up my stuff and walked out.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

No WAY this is going to beat me though. Going back tonight. With a friend for back up. And looking forward to the day I KNOW is coming. When I walk in. Know what I am doing. And just work out.

Watch me.

Not the best start. River Run.

First River Run this morning. 6am. I was doing ok. Even enjoying it just a little. Then I felt my left calf tighten and pain shoot through.

I don't think I've injured it - but I did need to drop back for one loop of the hill. And take it easy the rest of the way.

Must admit it was a real downer. I wanted to start this challenge with a bang. Not a possible injury. And not by taking it easy either.

I've iced and stretched and iced and massaged ...

Not the most illustrious start - but a start at least.

Um - 6am??

It just hit me. It's winter.

It will be dark. And probably 4 or 5 below.

What's a girl to wear????????

This weeks workout plan.

Wednesday.

River Run - 6am.
Fitness evaluation. (or lack of ) 10.30am
Weights - evening.

Thursday
Cardio program - evening

Friday
Cardio program - evening

Saturday
Bootcamp - 6am.
Weights program - mid morning

Sunday - rest day!
Just a walk

Monday
River Run 6am
Weights - 6.00pm
Monday meeting

Tuesday
Cardio - evening.

If I get time I will add in an aerobics class. And maybe pilates. Not sure where - but somewhere!

Told you it was intense!

Why is this time different??

Yes - I've done this before. No - I don't think just because I didn't finish before that it will effect this time. This time is different. How do I know?

• because I know what I am getting into
• also because Paul now knows how much time is spent on this. And how much time his wife will be spending away from home. We are doing this with open eyes and minds.
• because this time I have support. Two friends - Liz and Lisa are going to be killing themselves with me.
• because this time I really want it.
• because I have planned better. My time, my life ...
• because Miss E is older
• because soon work will be less intense.

This time is different. Bring on tomorrow

Tomorrow ... Tomorrow ....I love ya tomorrow ...

Your only a day away ...

Tomorrow.

I start tomorrow.

Fresh healthy food is in the house.

My first run is at 6am (OUCH)

My evaluation is at 10.30 (Bigger OUCH! It aint going to be pretty!)
1
But tomorrow is the first day of a stronger healthier me!

I cannot WAIT!

Philippians 4:13

I can do ANYTHING through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me.

Even this.

Think I need to get it written on a t-shirt so I don't forget.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow the challenge starts. Day one. Our first group meeting.

I won't actually have my assessment until Wednesday - so officially my journey begins then.

I am so excited, and scared and apprehensive and READY.

Twelve weeks to get healthy, and strong and fit and see what my body can do!

Bring it on!

My goals.

12 weeks. Such a short time. So long when you are doing it.

What do I want to achieve?

First and foremost. I want to finish. I want to do every week of the 12 weeks. I want to go hard. I don't want to wonder if.

I want to lose weight. More to the point - I want to lose 10 kg in just 12 weeks. That is going to mean work. Hard work. But more than that it is going to mean going from a bmi of around 33 to around 29. (depending on my start weight).
That means no longer being obese. Haven't been that way for around 10 years I think.

I want to be able to run. Not a lot - but actually go for a run.

I want to FEEL healthy. I want to FEEL strong.

I want to drop at least one dress size

And find an exercise routine I can follow forever.

That will do for now.

Three weeks to go.

Pre challenge prep time.

What do I want to do in these next three weeks??

I want to start eating healthier. Not perfect. But cut out all the junk I've been adding in.

I want to walk every day. I need at least some fitness to start with.

I want to run/walk on my treadmill when I am at home on the weekends (I have three weeks away for study)


I need to get ready. Good shoes. Socks. Gym clothes. Bra. You know - the basics. Make sure they are ready and there are no excuses.

I need to shop. Make sure we have food. Good food. Here and ready. Make sure I have water bottles and a lunch box ready so I can pack food and take it with me. And make sure everyone else in my life is on board. I need the support.

I need to plan. What we are doing, when. And work out the time I have in my life for study and for working out.

I need to get in the right place mentally. I need to work out exactly what I want to achieve. I need a plan.

Three weeks to go.

A Decision.

Two years ago I began a challenge. I started the 12 week body transformation challenge through a local gym - Vitality Fitness.

It was one of the best decisions I made. But I did not follow through and I only got to about the 8th week.

I really regret not putting myself first and forcing myself to complete the challenge. I wonder just how much I could have achieved.

This week I made a decision.

This year I am going to do the challenge again.

But this time I go into it with a full awareness of how tough it is - of how incredible it is - of how lifechanging it can be.

Those rose coloured glasses are off. I know this is going to be an incredible drain on our family time. It is going to hurt, and be hard and at times I am going to want to quit.

But I am going to give it my all.

I owe it to myself, and my family to be the best I can be.

This time I don't go in alone. I have a great friend who is going to jump right in with me. Together we will be an incredible team!

Less than a month to go ...

I can't wait.

Bring it on!