Just on hold a bit ...

stupid asthma

I'm getting help. In the meantime I'm walking. And doing a little weights.

But while I'm waiting I'm starting a new blog. About what we eat. And why. And our journey to healthy healing foods

check it out

to--your--health.blogspot.com

I can ... I will..

I know I can do this.

I took the mantra from our motivational speaker the other night.

And I did.

I ran 5k.

It was slow. I was last. But I ran it.

I just want to cry!

Our speaker this week was Chris Clayton. I heard him speak two years ago. And he got me right where I needed him to back then.

Today, somehow, he did the same.

I've been thinking over the last few days of how I doubt myself. Of how little faith I have in my body and it's ability to achieve.

I know where it comes from. Years and years of being unhappy with my weight, of being the kid who would umpire the softball game so she didn't let her team down by playing.

Then the last four years. Infertility strikes back. Four years. Seven ivfs. No children surviving my womb. More children to hold in heaven than I could ever have on earth.

My belief in my body is pretty much zero.

And I need to change that.

Before I can try again. Before I can do another transfer I need to get my mind and body strong. I need to believe in my body again.

And not only for those reasons. Just because I want to live in this body for the next 60+ years. And I don't want to do that in self doubt.

I need to change. This challenge is helping me. But to truly do that - I need to believe in me.


"Change your thoughts and you change your world" Norman Vincent Peale.

I need to stop thinking "I can't" or "I'm the slow one at the back" and change my thoughts ... and my world.

"I can" "I will" " I know I can do this"

"I won't stop" "I will taste success" "I know I can do this."

There is no finish line.



One thought struck me tonight. I need to blow it up and put it on the mirror.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new beginning" Carl Bard

My assessment ... and a catch up

I did not want to do my assessment.

For the 10 days before my assessment date I was struggling. I wasn't eating to plan. And we went away.

And you know what - I have a bit of an all or nothing nature. either I am trying to be perfect. Or I sabatage. And for a few days I was right there.

This is where my friends rock. If your friend is picking you up you HAVE to run. No choice.

And if you turn up ... somehow it seems you always work harder than you intended.

But yep - I was struggling. Cause I wanted to lose like FOUR kgs in the first month. And I knew I wouldn't. And I knew it was partly my fault.

So I went.

And lost 1.8kg. And yes - I am disappointed in that. And in me. But I think for the first time ever I am acknowledging that it was my choices that got me there. And my choices will change that.

And 1.8kg is still a loss.

So that is my assessment. 1.8kg down. 21 cm. And an attitude adjustment.

Oh - and Leanne says I doubt myself. That I don't believe I can do this. And she is so right. I need to work on that. Anyone know how though????

Suitably sore

This weights program is tough. Well I think it is. To do the whole thing in one go takes about 70-90 min (guess that depends how much you socialise too!)

I know I don't have time tomorrow. And today I do. So I did both (despite my initial intentions of just doing the upper body)

I am sore. Suitably sore. I worked H.A.R.D. and I can feel it!

Today's run ...

was awesome!

OK - I am still no where near a runner.

BUT

I was expecting it to be hard due to how sore I was feeling.

BUT

I remembered Leanne's words from my assessment last week (oops ! Still need to blog about that) and that I need to BELIEVE in MYSELF more.

So I went determined. I would have to go at my pace (can't ask miracles) but I would do what I was asked to do. And I did. I ran every bit we were asked to run. I did not walk unless we were told to walk. And I ran.

I am so proud of today's run. I feel like I went that little bit harder, and did not give in to those ugly thoughts.

When it got tough my mantra became "how sweet is success going to feel" over and over and over again.

And you know what?

It was.

Running for a cure.

Um - yeah. 5k fun run today. And me. Should be interesting.

But on that note - I have a TWELVE WEEK CHALLENGE SHIRT TO WEAR!

I am so stupidly excited. I have a shirt that is fitness related! ME! Guess it can compete with the millions that Paul owns.!

For the record ...

Leanna has hit a new level of insanity on the weights program.

It took Liz and I two hours to do it today.

(Although there might have been some talking there????)

I'm here ...!!!

To those who have asked ... I'm struggling a bit but I'm still here!

I've been away - at the Gympie Muster. Not exactly challenge friendly but I did my best.

I have lots to post about - mainly about my wierd self and how I cope with things.

But I wanted to say I AM HERE!

And I ran today. It was hard - but I did it!! I'm still swimming.