Our speaker this week was Chris Clayton. I heard him speak two years ago. And he got me right where I needed him to back then.

Today, somehow, he did the same.

I've been thinking over the last few days of how I doubt myself. Of how little faith I have in my body and it's ability to achieve.

I know where it comes from. Years and years of being unhappy with my weight, of being the kid who would umpire the softball game so she didn't let her team down by playing.

Then the last four years. Infertility strikes back. Four years. Seven ivfs. No children surviving my womb. More children to hold in heaven than I could ever have on earth.

My belief in my body is pretty much zero.

And I need to change that.

Before I can try again. Before I can do another transfer I need to get my mind and body strong. I need to believe in my body again.

And not only for those reasons. Just because I want to live in this body for the next 60+ years. And I don't want to do that in self doubt.

I need to change. This challenge is helping me. But to truly do that - I need to believe in me.


"Change your thoughts and you change your world" Norman Vincent Peale.

I need to stop thinking "I can't" or "I'm the slow one at the back" and change my thoughts ... and my world.

"I can" "I will" " I know I can do this"

"I won't stop" "I will taste success" "I know I can do this."

There is no finish line.



One thought struck me tonight. I need to blow it up and put it on the mirror.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new beginning" Carl Bard